50 Days to 50 Years, Day 06: Vacations

26 07 2016

“In matters of healing the body or the mind, vacation is a true genius!”
― Mehmet Murat ildan

I have noticed that since the bottom fell out of our world in July of 2010, that I’m not much fond of the month. Starting in 2012, I have made a concerted effort to disappear from Los Angeles sometime in July—to make an escape from the current situation, if only for a few days and with limited funds. Here is where Lynn and I differ, and like many married couples, where the fodder for arguments crops up: money spent and money lost while on vacation.

Vacations were not a normal routine when I was growing up, so when I became an adult, I decided this was something I wanted to incorporate into my life; particularly since I was stuck in the corporate world, which I hated. So once enough vacation days were accrued, I did my best to use them.

Cambria Coast near Moonstone Beach

Moonstone Beach is my kind of beach–rocky, rugged, and powerful.

And use them I did! Once I got my own car, I explored Cambria, my favorite place on the Central Coast of California, many times alone and with friends. I drove up the California Coast to San Francisco, Napa, Mendocino, and Eureka. Thanks to the generosity of other friends with lodging, I visited Dallas, Colorado, New Mexico, and Kauii, Hawaii. My philosophy: “stay”cations suck, and are not vacations; if I can’t get away, then the Summer has definitely been wasted.

Lynn took vacations with his family, but as an adult, he never bothered to plan any for himself. His idea of a getaway is visiting his family in San Luis Obispo for the weekend. While not a bad idea, for me, this is not truly getting away; and what I most want in the months of July and August is to get away.

So getaway we have, and I dragged Lynn along for the most part. Some years were really great, others rocky. In 2012, we drove to Arizona and New Mexico to visit his brother Bob and his family, and his sister Joyce and nephew Evan and had a blast.  In 2013, we traveled to Chicago to visit my family, and I discovered the happiest Lynn that I encountered in our now eight years of marriage. And my family’s reunion in 2015 in Walnut Creek, California was also one for the books. We seem to do very well when surrounded by family.

The years 2014 and 2016 were mixed bags. Bad hotels/motels and a few tense situations (like the blowup of yesterday), served to put a damper on those events.

So a day on the heels of the last getaway, as I reflect on the past five years of getaways, I am hoping to make some changes for 2017, and the years to come. One of those changes may be I just take vacations by myself and with girlfriends, since Lynn’s need to constantly earn and not spend does not produce a conducive or happy partner; and part of the enjoyment of a getaway is that the person you are with is enjoying the excursion as much as you.

So as I cross the threshold of my 50th Year, and decide what to keep or what to cast away for the the next 50, a getaway vacation is one tradition on which I don’t plan to compromise. I even have the dream of one day having the means to completely disappear for the three months of Summer—hopefully Lynn will be in a place where he is willing to do that too. Things to hash out as I continue in my 50 Days to 50 Years journey…

 

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