The Girl writes at Habibi Life for the Month of Love

5 02 2018

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Happy February!

SO honored to be a part of the month of self-love celebration at Habibi Life.

The beautiful Shahada Evans: entrepreneur, fellow Yoga instructor, and creative force,  has a delicious skin care product line and an awesome website to support it and the community that loves them some Habibi (me included).

In this month of February, typically dubbed the LOVE month, Shahada asked me to be one of the people to write for the blog about self love and self care, and I was totally down!

Give it a read, and check out the Habibi line while you’re there: Self Care vs. #selfcare.


Coincidences versus Divine Appointments 

8 01 2018

“There is no such thing as chance; and what seems to us mere
accident springs form the deepest source of destiny.” 

Friedrich Schiller

It was a gorgeous, steely morning in the Crescenta Valley. Los Angeles is experiencing its first rain of the season, so it added to the mellowness of this Monday morning.

Our Montrose Church Women’s Coffee group was meeting at Panera Bread. I don’t really like Panera, and don’t quite understand what makes it so popular. Because we are again flat broke after having to travel to Chicago, the last thing I wanted was to go someplace where I had to spend money; so between that and the rain, I could have had a convenient excuse just to stay home. But the goal, particularly during this new year and time of grieving, is to connect as much as I can—especially on mornings when I really just want to curl into a ball—and this was one of these mornings.

For a change, I left right after my voice lesson. Normally I dither around a bit, but I wasn’t sure what the 2 Freeway would look like with this first rain, and since I haven’t been firing on all cylinders lately, I wanted to take my sweet time and not feel rushed. So I arrived at Panera exactly at 9 a.m., and Jana, Sandy, Carolyn, and several other women were already in line, ordering their food. I gave them hugs, and then looked at the menu to see if there was anything I wanted to get. I decided to try a pastry (cheap), and had my eye on a pecan roll, when I heard a male voice say, “Hello!” behind me.

I turned around to see my friend Robert, with his gorgeous smile, opening his arms for a hug, which I gladly took. Robert and his wife Gina have been one of the great friendships we’ve developed since coming to Montrose Church, and they knew about Joan’s passing. He asked how I was doing, and I said I was hanging in. He said something distinctive: “You have a certain grace about you that makes you appear that you are handling the situation.” I took that as a positive. We chatted a bit more, then I got back in line to order my pecan roll.

I was happy that the pecan roll did not disappoint, and I was happy with my decision to get out the house. We had great conversation around the table about a variety of things, including movies, and the Faith & Film class a lot of us were attending. Our time together was winding to a close, and most of the women had left. My emotional bank was depleting, so I went to restroom, and then prepared to make my exit.

I came back from the restroom, and was saying my goodbyes to the remaining ladies, when I sensed a pair of eyes upon me. I looked in the direction of the gaze, and saw the beautiful face of Darlene Perry smiling at me! I knew Darlene from The Church on the Way, where we sang together in the New Song Gospel Choir. Darlene and her sisters are also recording artists, as part of the talented Peri Sisters. On top of that, Darlene is an incredible baker and chef, and her cupcakes are simply divine.

I walked over and gave her a big hug, and we caught up a bit on each other’s lives. She was in La Crescenta (all the way from Lancaster) to frequent a local bakery supply shop! She popped into Panera for a quick bite before heading back to the Antelope Valley. I introduced her to the remaining ladies, and then she collected her food and jetted off. We made a commitment to reconnect on Facebook.

Some people would think that both of those unexpected meetings of a new friend and an old friend were coincidence; I choose to believe otherwise. For whatever reason, God knew I needed those bookends to my morning in order to shore up my soul for the rest of my day. Pastor Dave talked yesterday about God hovering over the void that is the chaos in our life, and those divine appointments were most definitely from his hand.

50 Days to 50 Years, Day 00: Bye, Bye Napa, Hello 5 Freeway, Goodbye 40s…

1 08 2016

“A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.” — John Steinbeck

This could be said of the road trip to Santa Fe, this one, and the trip through these past 50 Days to 50 Years. While I did not manage to connect with 50 friends over the 50 days, it was a very fruitful, fun, and enlightening experience, which carved a new space in the year and in my life: a larger space of gratitude for the people and events who have shaped the woman I am today, and a new space of embracing the legacy of years. I am thankful that I approach the 50s with few regrets, and a beautiful bouquet of people, places, and memories, including my husband, our marriage, and our life together. So the journey up to now has been mostly sweet, and my prayer is that it will continue to grow sweeter.

I packed my things, gave my thanks to Gina for the use of her Air BnB, and said my goodbyes. Since we kept skipping a formal breakfast these past two days, I decided to meet Shawna for one last meal at Black Bear Diner before I hit the road.

Black Bear is another Shawna find, and they have some of the best comfort food west of the Mississippi. One of their specialties is sweet cream pancakes, french toast, muffins, you name it. The sweet cream adds an extra layer of richness to the already fluffy texture of the bread, that is only enhanced by syrup, more butter, and whatever else you want to top it with. Had I been smart, I would have bought some muffins or sweetbread to take with me—maybe next trip….

It was delicious fuel for the body for the 6-plus hour drive back South. The car needed fuel too, so I gassed up at the Fairfield Costco before hopping the 5 South for a mostly uneventful ride back to Los Angeles. This is Northern and Southern California after all, and the traffic is legendary; but for the most part, the drive was smooth.

I arrived home to ecstatic puppies and a happy husband, so perhaps a weekend getaway was a perfect solution to reset us. We would be celebrating 9 years married in two days, so a reset was a good thing.

I also came home to a couple of sweet presents: a personalized gift basket from Lynn’s sister Carrie, and a lovely photo book from my sister Joan.

The last day of 49 ended as desired: at home with the people I love, on a mellow note, with anticipation of things to come as I crossed the threshold into 50.


50 Days to 50 Years, Day 01: Napa Girl’s Weekend, Part 3: Jason Bourne and Sweetie Pies

31 07 2016

“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.”  — Ovid

That we did. Sunday was another leisurely morning where we did not much. Nibbled on the still leftover snacks, had coffee, and just chilled. I patched in briefly to the live feed of the 10 am service at Montrose Church back in Los Angeles, then we made the effort to get dressed for the grand event that day: Jason Bourne.

Yes, I love Matt Damon’s acting, and the Bourne series is one of my favorites of his work; so what better way to spend the day than watching the latest installment?

We even got to drag Shawna’s mom Nasha out the house, which is something Shawna says she rarely does. I felt honored that she would join us for the excursion—Nasha’s like another mom.


While not any match for the previous three, Jason Bourne was serviceable. A perfect fluff film for a leisurely afternoon.

We decided to show Nicole the Riverfront in Downtown Napa, and Shawna had a certificate for a confectionery called Sweetie Pies. Not to be mistaken for the restaurant made famous by Oprah, this was just a simple shop that sold specialty and gourmet pastries, cakes, and cookies, and the usual coffee and tea offerings that go along with them.

Wow! While not a sugar addict, this place was worth all the calories. Much of it was so rich, that we had leftovers to knosh on later.


Nasha was past her threshold of being around the public, so we dropped her off, and me, Shawna, and Nicole did Chinese food for dinner. Nicole was heading back to Alameda (near San Francisco), and ordered a to-go meal for her fianceé Georgios, who was very sweet to let his love spend a few days with me.

The best part of girlfriends, and especially Christian girlfriends, is that along with the laughter, fun, sharing, and eating, we also pray together. Nicole shared some difficult things that were going on with the wedding and Georgios’ family, and she knew of my struggles as well. So before she drove off, we spent some time in prayer. No matter what the issues, inviting the Lord into it is a guarantee of our peace and helps me to look for his action and answer in the midst of the situation.

The Girlfriend’s Weekend was inspired, special, and now complete. Shawna stayed for a little bit before she had to head to work. The last night in the Air BnB was uneventful, which was also an appropriate end.


50 Days to 50 Years, Day 02: Napa Girl’s Weekend, Part 2: Castello di Amarosa and Rutherford Grill

30 07 2016

“Good friends help you to find important things when you have lost them… your smile, your hope, and your courage.” — Doe Zantamata


The morning started off leisurely, which is how I prefer to start mornings. Donna and Auntie Everette were the first to rise, then I got up. Shawna would not be off work until after 8 am, and we had planned to go to Black Bear Diner for breakfast before heading off for pedicures.

Shawna arrived later than expected, and none of us were in a great hurry to get out of our PJs, so we talked, and planned, and finally got dressed. It was almost noon, so almost time for our nail appointment and too late to do Black Bear. On the way to the salon, Shawna stopped to get breakfast burritos for us from another of her favorite spots. We gobbled them down as we waited to be seated for our mani-pedicures!

Mine was just a pedi. I see no point in getting a manicure because with all the washing dishes, gardening, and other hands-on stuff I do, it is ruined in a few days. But pedicures are always in order, especially since between teaching Yoga and taking Yoga, I spend three-quarters of my life out of shoes!

I decided on gold for the weekend, and in honor of turning 50. Technically, I am moving into my golden years, so I took it as a declaration.

We stopped at a grocery store to grab a few nibbles that we planned to eat before the wine tasting. Unfortunately, traffic was not very cooperative. It took us longer to get to Castello di Amarosa than expected, and we got there right on time for our tasting session. Donna’s daughter Danea was also joining us, and ran into traffic on the way down from Brentwood. I guess Saturdays in the Napa Valley are about the same as Saturdays in Los Angeles: people converging on the roads all at one time trying to get their errands done.

Nicole was not able to make the tasting, but would meet us later at Rutherford Grill for dinner. We talked with the tour coordinator about the length and difficulty of the tour. Because there was a lot of unevenness to the flooring as well as stairs, Auntie Everette decided to relax in the tasting room while we did the tour.




It was a really awesome tour, with bits of history and humor weaved throughout. The entire affair is a testament to what someone can do with money and time on their hands. This billionaire decided he wanted an authentic castle, so he had rocks shipped in from Africa (to look aged and authentic), and built a castle/winery. Who am I to judge? If I had that kind of cheddar, I’d buy myself a mineral hot springs that I could visit whenever I wanted. To each his own….


We had a great time, and were sufficiently buzzed by the end. Good thing Shawna wasn’t sampling, and we didn’t have far to drive! Rutherford Grill was practically around the corner.

Nicole was able to make it, and we had some lounge time on the patio before being seated. Shawna’s penchant for good food paid off once again! It was a delicious dinner, and the restaurant’s patio statue was synonymous to what occurred—we pigged out!

Once we rolled ourselves back to our cars, we headed back to the Air BnB. Donna and Everette had church obligations, so we hugged and kissed them goodbye, and then headed upstairs for a movie night.

Shawna was off work for the weekend, so she was able to stay the night. We repaired back into our PJs and figured out how to log into my Netflix account to watch The Princess Bride.

Along with a gorgeous birthday card, Nicole gave me a beauty treatment mask, so I decided to make it a full-fledged girl’s night and applied it! We nibbled on a bit of popcorn, and me and Nicole had some wine while we enjoyed this movie classic.


It was an appropriate ending to a fun day.


50 Days to 50 Years, Day 03: Napa Girl’s Weekend with Shawna Cypher!

29 07 2016

“I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving
for my friends, the old and new.”  — Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have been so looking forward to this weekend, and thankful for my friend Shawna who helped to set it up.


Shawna and I have known each other since 1994, when she came to Los Angeles as a nanny, and we have been the best of friends ever since. From weekends, to dinners, to impromptu road trips, she has been one of my best road dogs. I was sad when she moved back to Napa, but it also opened the door for trips up north to see her, with other friends and family in tow (as pictured above). This picture was taken the year before, when we went to Walnut Creek for the Foxx Family Reunion. We stopped in Napa on the way and spent some time with Shawna, and then Shawna crashed the reunion as our “sister from another mister”, and we all had a great time!

So when I thought of getting together a group of friends for a Girl’s Weekend, she was first on my list. Because of time, distance, and finances, some friends and family couldn’t make it, but I was looking forward to spending time with my cousin Donna and my aunt Everette, as well as my new friend Nicole, who was joining us on Saturday.

I had an amazingly smooth trip up the 5 freeway. Car rides are like a moving meditation for me, and also a moving prayer time. I have done my best praying and pondering on the road, and after the strains of the last weekend, it was needed. I enjoyed taking my sweet time, worshiping to my favorite Pandora stations, and listening for God’s wisdom and voice. Definitely time well spent.

I arrived at the Air BnB rented by Shawna’s friend Gina, and Shawna was there waiting for me. She and Gina helped me get the lay of the land, then Donna and aunt Everette arrived soon after. Shawna loved being navigator and chauffeur, and after 7 hours on the road that was fine with me. So we packed into her Rav-4 and headed to dinner at The Pear!

Shawna raved about this place, and since she has the same food tastes I do, I trusted her judgment. I was not disappointed! We started with Sunset Mimosas, Cheese Fondue, and Grilled Prawns. I love me some crustaceans, so I ordered Cheesy Grits with Prawns for my entree. It was melt-in-your-mouth, hearty goodness.

Shawna is a scrapbooker and crafter, so thanks to her mad skills, I received my first official 50th birthday card! Custom-made, no less.


After dessert, we explored the Riverfront in Downtown Napa for a bit, and I realized this was the first time in a while that I had spent any quality time with my Aunt Everette. She is one of the last living Foxx matriarchs, and I wanted to soak up her presence as a living memory of that family and my mother.


We saw all we could see of the Riverfront, so we headed back to the BnB for some conversation and a nightcap. Shawna had to go to work, and Everette went to bed, so me and Donna sat up a bit longer and had some good conversation about men, marriage, and how God wanted to use us as partners to the men we loved. Much needed conversation. My eyelids were drooping, so we prayed together, and both went off to bed.

Day 1 of the weekend had turned out fabulous, and I was looking forward to Day 2: Mani-pedis, and the Castello di Amaros Winery!

50 Days to 50 Years, Day 05: Exhaustion and Anticipation

27 07 2016

“Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey.”
—Fitzhugh Mullan


No lie, after a road trip, I am generally exhausted; which is why I try to take an extra day to unpack, do laundry, and lie around with a puppy or two at my feet. This time I couldn’t, because I needed to work to have money and space for the final days leading up to my 50th—the Girl’s weekend!

My friend Shawna in Napa hooked me up with a friend’s B&B, my cousins and auntie are coming from their place in Brentwood (a suburb an hour or so from Napa) to spend a couple of days, and my new Yogi friend Nicole, who also lives up north, is planning on joining us for at least one day. So in my exhaustion and between my 7 classes over three days, I am anticipating another road trip, this time by myself.  It’s a good time to disappear again, and probably a good opportunity for Lynn to spend some time alone.

Two more days and I’m hittin’ the road, Jack. But my purpose in journeying is to come back with a different perspective. I do my best thinking, praying, and reformulating on road trips, so I am anticipating good things on the road, as well as fun with the girls!

Friday can’t come soon enough…

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